Pavlov’s human???

Okay, so yesterday was a big day for me.  I finally got up the nerve to send my first ever Query Letter to a publisher for one of my stories.  I know the likelihood of hearing back in a few days time is VERY slim as the norm is about 6-12 weeks turn around time.  However my neuroses OCD is making it nearly impossible to get anything done.  Every time my phone chimes signaling a new e-mail, I stop whatever I’m doing to check it.  The rational part of my brain knows that I’m being ridiculous.  The bigger, irrational part of my brain keeps sticking her tongue out at the rational part while it reads the junk e-mail that just came in.  I even had to explain to a friend today that I was SOOO tired because last night every time the phone even vibrated, I had to check it.  And let’s be honest folks, no one of importance is e-mailing me at 2 am.

Chime with good news, please!!

Being the great friend that she is, she recommended that I give myself a good ol’ fashioned talking to.  To which I patiently explained that I had, but that darn irrational part of my brain refused to listen, kind-of like my kids when I say “no, you can’t have candy for dinner,”except that the irrational part of my brain isn’t 5 or 7, it’s a 18 yr old Jersey girl with big hair and a bad attitude (I can say this since I, myself, am a Jersey girl).  So instead of getting anything of consequence done today, I am having a day of in-fighting in my head while I try to figure out a good contact for other potential publishers.  And check my e-mail.  Because you just never know…

But I did find a way to kill some time today and keep tabs on my e-mail….  I cleared out all 2,000 random messages in my collective inbox.  Over 70% got trashed which felt cleansing, the remaining got filed properly which made me feel productive, but now I have no good reason to keep staring at the empty inbox.  Maybe my friend was right, it’s time to go get some meds to manage my OCD neuroses so I can be a productive human again.  😛  Yeah, the irrational part of my brain (let’s call her JJ for giggles) she thinks that’s a crazy idea.  So since she’s ruling the roost up there, I’ll just keep my phone handy for the next 6 – 12 weeks.  😉

Be well ~ Jeni

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