I have the pleasure of writing pillow talk in some of my stories and it’s always that great, “Morning, beautiful. Let me just hold you for a few minutes then I’ll go get you a cup of coffee just the way you like it” kind.
In reality, I usually wake up to if not one, then two little people staring me and whispering, “Do you think it’s okay for us to just start breakfast without Mommy?” To which I usually just moan, “YESSSS, I’ll be there in a minute…. if you need help, go find Daddy…” because we all know Ron is up already and working. He’s one of those “morning people” that I’ve read about in books and seen in movies (but choose to believe aren’t real like mermaids as my youngest keeps insisting…although I like to think she’s wrong). By the time my phone starts shouting at me to wake up, he’s already put in over an hour of time working in his downstairs office. Yeah and he’s chipper too… UGH!
But on the rare weekend morning when no one has to rush around to be to anywhere by a certain time or get to an early appointment, I have the rare pleasure of waking up next to the man I married. On these occasions, I always long for the sweet nothings I get to muse about in my writing, but what I get is always something completely different…
“Did you make the coffee yet? I can’t get my day started without coffee…” – but yet during the week he never gets coffee until I roll out of bed to make it and he’s already been super productive?? How it possible this does not to translate to the weekends?
“Today I need to make a plan so I’m not as unproductive as yesterday.” – yesterday was Saturday. You are SUPPOSED to be unproductive on Saturday.
“Hmm, I think today I’m going to figure out how to cut our expenses.” – uh, ok. Sounds like fun. See you on the other side of that. P.S. I need to go buy a new vacuum cleaner. Amex will be my friend today while you figure out that budget-thinger.
“Did you hear that? I think the kids are up. We should go see what they are doing…”, he asks while shaking me awake out of my peaceful slumber. – You and I both know the kids are out of their rooms by 7 am. If it’s 7am or after, of course it’s the kids and no, I don’t want to go see what they are doing because up until a moment ago I was sleeeeeeepppppping!!! Because ‘we’ always means me…. Grrrrr
“What are we doing today? I need to know so I can make sure I have time for _______________.” – the blank is always filled in with something, but when this is the first thing you say to me in the morning, the only plan I currently have is to suffocate you with my pillow for making me try to think before handing me a cup of coffee (with cream and sugar please) and telling me that I look pretty… which brings me to the whole point of this post…
No matter how
awful, dreadful, scary, appalling, disturbing I ( or any woman ) look in the morning, tell me I look amazing, beautiful, appealing, sexy, gorgeous, lovely, or pretty and hand me a cup of coffee!! That’s pillow talk 101.