I write romances. Paranormal romances. They are dark at times, humorous at others, and completely a work of fiction. However, it never stops people from assuming that since I write “love” that I have anything other than a regular viewpoint on the topic. Which gives me a case of the giggles, because seriously, in my house, love is remembering to buy Ron’s coffee when I go to the grocery store or him staying up late to let the dog out one last time before bed so that I can go to sleep since I tend to wake up anywhere between 5 and 6 am while he sleeps in until 7. Or him calling me on his drive to work to let me know he hung the kids’ carpool number on the fridge in the garage so I’d have it for the afternoon since he got them the day before.
So while everyone else is talking about the rat race of one-up-manship that has become February 14th, I thought we could offer up some #realromance this year. After 15 years of not killing one another, I think I might have a little knowledge in this area since I challenge Ron’s idea of romance regularly. Frankly, we fell in love based on the fact that he was quiet and I wasn’t. He was taller than me in a major way (super important to the 16-yr old version of myself who still loves to wear tall shoes even though I’m almost 5’9″). On the surface that might not sound like a lot to go on, but it was for us. He liked Beavis, I was all about Daria. He liked something I can only call “hard rock” music and I listened to anything other than that. He liked action movies and I liked chick flicks. He read non-fiction, I broke out in hives with every nonfiction tome that neared me. He drove a stick, I was all automatic (although I learned). Two people more different were never had and not much has changed since then–although he’s more flexible because of me and I can actually make a plan and stick to it because of him.
So here’s my Feb 14th game plan:
-Buy a card. I’m a writer people. I buy written things as gifts for holidays. Valentine’s is no exception. Ask my friends, I send cards off and on all year round for absolutely no reason other than a show of love. So cards equal love in my crazy brain.
-Compromise on the movie we will inevitably rent from iTunes since we never plan ahead for a sitter (I mean that takes some planning and we both are so busy that holidays sneak up on us. Kinda like the year we both forgot our anniversary.) I’ll be compromising because he likely wants to see some action flick and I want to desperately see Dracula Untold which has a 22% on rotten tomatoes which means I’ll be watching whatever action flick he wants to see. This is real life people.
-Try not to fall asleep during above mentioned movie (because I’ve been known to do that. Like last night for example. And the night before that. Hence Ron’s insistence on setting a sleep timer on the tv. He’s not wrong, but don’t tell him I said that. I’ll never hear the end of it you do.)
-I’ll cook something. Maybe not dinner. Maybe not anything fancy, but something. He likes my cooking, but I’ve been on deadlines for
like forever the last couple of months and haven’t been cooking as much as I typically do.
-Let him sleep in. Just because one of us has to be up with the kids, doesn’t mean the other can’t sleep in. He’s so good about keeping them alive while I work, that I owe him the extra hours of sleep he can manage.
Pretty sure his game plan will look similar. In previous years it’s included, but isn’t limited to:
-Running out that morning for a card because his writer wife has a thing about giving and receiving greeting cards. Find a funny one and buy that fill it out in the car then remember that she also likes sentimental cards. Go back into said store, wade through all the other guys looking for a last minute card and grab one with lots of writing that starts with “my darling wife” or “the love of my life.” That will do. Ask the kid at the counter for a pen so he can fill it out before he leaves the store because he won’t be coming back in-not even for the Almond milk said wife asked him to get that he completely forgot about.
-Remember not to send flowers because while said wife loves to look at flowers, as they slowly die on the kitchen counter or worse, her office desk, she becomes a red-faced sneezing monster and there ain’t anything sexy about that. Nothing at all. Like zip. Zilch. Zero.
-Offer to take the wife out to lunch (possibly with the kids) since neither of them planned a sitter or anything for a grown-up outing let alone made dinner reservations. Then wonder to himself if she still remembers the year they both forgot their anniversary and laugh because it was awesome that she actually forgot something for once, because she can still pick out what she calls his “Monday tie” from the year they first were married. Then wonder if she’ll forget Valentine’s day; ’cause that would make his life exponentially easier.
-Offer to trade her a back rub for watching the movie of his choice. Not only does it always work, but it also puts her to sleep so she can get some rest because his night owl wife has been snatched by body snatchers or something–he can’t remember, but she sure grumbles about it a lot while she waits for her first cup of coffee to brew in the morning. Again, not anywhere near sexy, but kinda adorable in that I-can’t-believe-I’ve-loved-this-crazy-woman-for-almost-20-years sorta way.
See, real life romance. No fairy tales. No magic. No creepy cupids. Just real life. Real romance.
What are your plans for Feb 14th?